The judge ordered the county to file TPR on both parents within 90 days.  The adoption worker said she's looking forward to seeing our file on her desk :)  Details of court later on...  XOXOX

Thanks for your prayers!!!

Court 9am.  Please pray...

No call, no visit today for Sprout.  The agency worker also informed me that court was changed to earlier in the day on Wednesday.  Praying that bio dad surrenders.  I truly want God's will to be done in Sprout's life and if that includes him meeting and building a relationship with his bio father...so be it.  I just can't imagine what 9 more months of this lifestyle will do to him.  There will be visits at least 4 days a week, if not more.  It's overwhelming.  Please pray for peace for me because I'm anxious about court.  We're at 17 months and I know this is will be a turning point in our f0ster care journey.   

On a bittersweet note, Lil' Peanut is leaving soon.  His aunt has been in close contact and after last weeks court date I heard the !CPC was accepted by NC.  Our state is waiting for a hard copy of the paperwork and she'll come get him.  She also said she'll bring his twin so I have the chance to see them together :)  That made me smile.

Frustrated as anything!! Peanut's agency worker called me to tell me how court went. 
Peanut's dad consented to the neglect charge BUT nothing with happen to him because Peanut is being sent down south to be with his Great Aunt and twin brother.  Peanut came to us in December with fractured ribs, bruises and cuts.  He was 4 months old and 9 pounds.  NOTHING.  I don't even know if he realizes he probably won't see his son(s) again.  To top it all off...he has a newborn baby girl now.  CP$ is involved but only to make sure he is not left alone with his daughter.  His girlfriend and the baby moved out so CP$ didn't take the baby.  If they find out that they are living together...the baby will be removed. 

Now we wait for the !CPC to go through. 
*Peanut was weighed last week and was 15 lbs and 27.5 in long.*

6 days till court for Sprout.  Bio mom made BOTH visits (so far) this week. 

Was told by the county worker that D$$ will NOT file for TPR* while bio dad is in pri$on.  His earliest release date is early next year.  Sprout will be in care 27 months at that time.  Keep in mind that bio dad could have been out over a year ago but he got into trouble and they added time to his sentence.  I am just a bit frustrated they are not being more proactive in making a permanency plan for Sprout.  Even though we are listed as foster/adoptive parents there is no mention of concurrent planning. 

Visit today.  Agency worker picked up Sprout.  He told me that there was no misprint on the court paper work.  Sprout's bio dad gets out of prison NEXT YEAR not next month!!

I got our court papers in the mail 2 days ago.  Freaking out!

I had to have a friend (a fellow foster parent) read them to me because I couldn't hold the papers still...I was shaking too much. 

The goal, after 17 months, is STILL return to parent!

We are listed as a foster/adoptive home. 

The paperwork states what visits bio mom missed, that she has had unauthorized people at Sprout's visits and she has not attended his well-baby visits. 

It ALSO states (are you sitting down?!?!) that bio dad is not released from pri$on until NEXT YEAR!!!  (Up until 2 weeks ago we were told that he gets out in June...next month!!)

I am trying so hard not to be anxious.  You know, cuz the whole "Be anxious for nothing" thing...

Court is in LESS than 2 weeks...  You're praying...RIGHT!?!?!  :)

Re-posted in honor of Foster Care Awareness Month.
I awoke to the phone ringing in the middle of the night. "Do you have a bed for a baby girl?" I talked with the protective services worker, did not accept the placement and wished him luck finding a "bed" for her. The calls in the night are the hardest because I can't fall back to sleep.

Why do they they refer to needing a "bed"? The question is really, "Do you have time in your days to care for a child who may have extra special needs? Do you have room in your heart to love that child as your very own, for as long or as short as she may be with you? Are you willing to put the child's needs above your own, as you would for a child of your own? Are you able to love and protect this child fiercely and yet send the child home after an unpredictable amount of time? Are you willing to seek out resources to meet the child's needs and advocate within the system for the child's best interest? Are you willing to grieve a tremendous loss when the child leaves you? Are you willing to adopt if the child doesn't leave you? And are you willing to ask the same of all your family members?"

All that, nearly on the scale of a wedding vow, being asked on the phone at 4:00 a.m. This time I said no.
But then I wonder and I worry. Will that baby be placed in a good home? Will someone meet her needs? My life feels pretty comfortable right now. Should I have stretched myself a bit and taken in one more? There's no answer to my question. I can only offer up prayers for her, for the children I have in my care and for wisdom and discernment for myself. I take each phone call as it comes.

There was a visit on Friday.  I had to pick Sprout up at the agency office which happens to be a 5 minute walk from bio mom's house.  She dropped him off almost 15 minutes late. 

Anticipating the court paperwork this week...

Monday...there was a 4 hour afternoon visit. 

Today (Wednesday)...no call, no visit. 

6 more months of this. 

Anyone ELSE see a problem here?!?!

So, home with BOTH boys today because Peanut's dad cancelled and is 'very sick'. 

Not that I'm complaining though...6 more months of giving HER a chance to let him down, again!  Not sure WHAT God will teach me through this.  I am trying to 'BE STILL' and trust Him.  I'm human...that's hard.  I want to 'do'.  Praying the judge sees the truth and makes the decision for the county! 

Bad news...  I called the county worker to see what the court paperwork will say.  They are NOT going for TPR on bio mom.  Because bio dad is released from prison in June they feel it is too close to the 15 out of 22 month mark.  He will have a chance to work the case plan and visit (supervised) with his son.  I know that it's my job to foster the relationship between the bio parents and Sprout but really...we're only delaying the inevitable.  I am concerned about Sprout's mental well-being at the end of all this.  That will be another loss for him.  Not to mention visits with bio mom 3 days a week (when she shows) and bio dad once a week.  He is getting older and he is a smart boy.  He will begin to realize when they do not show.   Then, when the county decides that reasonable efforts have been made...they'll TPR. 

I am praying that : 

* the judge sees bio mom's lack of effort and asks the county WHY they haven't started the process for TPR. 
* part of bio dad's parole is a 'no contact under 18' order.
* bio dad prolongs prison sentence by getting in trouble (I know it's mean but hey, it's how I feel).
*  or bio dad surrenders.

I am tired.  I don't want to do this for another 6 months.  I am tired of dealing with the county and the agency.  I am tired of visits.  But I know this sweet boy is worth every ounce of energy I have given. 
"For I KNOW the plans I have for Sprout,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper and not to harm Sprout, plans to give Sprout hope and a future." 
Jeremiah 29:11   

...Trusting God for an amazing testimony...