The boys are napping so I figured I'd let out a few happenings around here. It was a week, Monday, that they came here. I think that they have adjusted well to our family routine and the stability of having one person around ALL the time. I'd be lying if I said it was easy. This is our first placement of toddlers and it has challenged me to keep my cool and remember where they've come from. I DO NOT feel that D*S*S has adequately prepared us for the challenges that are ahead. I was all ready to sit and blog last night about how well they are doing and they things they are achieving then...last night happened. Night time routine has been the hardest for the boys to follow. I have no clue what their mom did or how they went to sleep at night. It has been a trying experience but I think we've done ok. I have spoken to the caseworker and found out some of the things these boys possibly dealt with and it kind of makes it easier to be patient with them. Most people have 9 months to get ready for a baby...I had 2 hours to get ready for 2 toddlers. The family members that want them have had their home studies done and now we wait. Not sure how long they'll be here but we're enjoying them while we can. :)

Ok, so seriously.... WHAT CONSTITUTES CALLING FOR A THERAPEUTIC FOSTER HOME???? Please help....

I've decided on 'blog' names of Hewey (Boy #1 who is 4), Dewey (Boy #2 who is 2) and Lewey (Boy #3 who is 1). If you recall, I only have Dewey and Lewey placed with me. Originally, Hewey and Lewey were placed in a home together while Baby Lewey was placed alone. Hewey and Lewey's foster mother said that they fought violently and Hewey was constantly on top of Dewey punching and hitting. There were also other children in the house at the time and Hewey physically fought with them as well. The fighting was SO bad that one of the boys in her home had to walk around with a hockey helmet on and a stick to protect himself. So, after 30 hours, she called to have Hewey moved from her home. Well, here we are 5 days later and my question is...why did they place him in a Therapeutic foster home? What is done differently there than here? I'm hoping you all can help me out.
I am pretty sure that SOMEONE has the answeres I need.
Waaayy too much violence today...
I can show you the bite marks to prove it.

I sat down to post a few days ago but my emotions got the better of me. These boys are wonderful. More than I could have EVER imagined. The ONLY thought that comes to mind is how will I EVER let them go?!?! I'll admit. Day 1 (Mon) was overwhelming. It took every ounce of energy to go through bins of clothes, set up beds, cribs and play areas with appropriate toys. We went outside and played in the yard, went for walks, and they toured the house. By dinner time I was getting nervous to see how they'd react to me bathing them and putting them down for the night. Bath time went well. Both of the boys had a hard time with bed. I was in tears asking myself if I could really DO THIS... What I meant to say was...day to day life AND this whole foster care thing. Taking care of other people's kids is one thing...dealing with the drama that goes along with foster care is a WHOLE other story!!! After a good night's sleep I was able to see through clearer eyes. Day 2 (Tues)- I realized that no matter what I feel...I know that God has these boys here for a reason. I will do WHATEVER it takes to keep them safe and help them know they're loved. I took my girls to vacation bible camp and when I walked in with these 'boys'...people were floored. My friend 'S' came over and I introduced her to them and with COMPLETE shock she said "I know these boys. I grew up with their mother. Their Christmas picture is on my fridge".
Holy bombshell Batman!!!
I was like WHAT?!?!?!?
She went on to tell me a bit about the boys mom and I just sat there FLOORED. At this point I still had none of the boys birth dates, no proper spelling of their names and I had NO CLUE why they were in care. 'S' gave me a bit of insight into the boys life. That night I just broke down. Knowing they have a loving mother makes this SO much harder. Not only because I want them to stay but no matter WHAT I do, I cannot help her. This is something SHE has to do ALONE. And even if they don't go home to mom...they will most likely go to a family member. Either way...we lose. Again... When their journey through foster care is done they still wind up with a family and us...we are at square one...again. I put my feelings aside and finished my day. Day 3 (Wed)- More trying moments then before. I have been tested at least 100 times a day and it seems at times that these 'babies' are even MORE strong willed than I am (as IF THAT were even possible!!!) Bedtime came and once again there was a power struggle...I won...he slept. ***Side Note***- I spoke to the home finder who has been handling the case. I was told that the boys have relatives who are stepping up and want custody. It was a possibility that they could leave tomorrow (Thurs).
Day 4 (Thurs)- The morning was wonderful. I'm still learning schedules, nap times and how each personality is different. We have been assigned a case worker (finally) and it happens to be "THE CASE WORKER"...Daisy's case worker. :O) That's a good thing. We like him. He called at 8am (I had already been up for an hour and a half @@ ) and proceeded to tell me how the boys are to visit with their Aunt, Grandmother and brother. He also told me that bio mom consented to keep the boys in care so we should have them for at least a few days. The visit went well. All the boys were thrilled to see each other. We took the kids out for the afternoon as a family and they went to bed with no problems. So...here we are...you're all caught up and you've probably figured out that I really need YOUR help. Please pray. Pray for bio mom...that she gets her act together. Pray for these babies. They are emotionally starved and extremely violent. Pray for peace for them and for our house. I feel ill-equipped. I know they need SO much more than I can give them. I have no Child Psychology degree. I am doing my best to love them through their tantrums and enjoy every minute I have with them. I know that I have to fully rely on God's grace right now. But please. If you think about us...give God a shout out on our behalf. :O)
Thank you... More soon.

I apologize. I had absolutely NO intention of driving you crazy (Lynee)!!! :) If I say crazy...I mean CRAZZZZZZZZZZYYY!!! :) I woke up this morning and made my rounds to get each child where they needed to be at the allotted time. While on my way to pick everyone up, I got a phone call. The question was..."are you willing to take 2 boys". The answer...without ANY other questions..."YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!". OK, I lied. Reality set in and I was curious. Unfortunately, the home finder had NO answers. The only thing I knew was there were 2 boys, brothers, who needed a home. Ages would come eventually but they're always off anyway. SO...I agreed to take them knowing they were around 2 1/2 and 19 months. No names. No history. That's it. But if you're a foster parent...sometimes that's all you get. I waited for a phone call telling me when and where to pick them up. That came while my family and I were out to lunch...literally. We went out to eat and (of course) in the middle of the meal...the phone rings. I got a bit more info. Names. That's it. They were placed a few days ago but for some reason they went into emergency care. I'm not sure why I wasn't called then but I can only guess it's because of their older brother. Originally, he (the oldest boy) was placed with brother #2 into one home and brother #3 was placed alone in a another home. Again...not sure why. But I was probably not called because of older brother's age. He (oldest boy) is still within our age limit on our adoption home study but not on our fostering home study. Since they came into care the oldest boy has since been moved into a different foster home (alone). SO...I meet the home finder to pick up these boys (the younger 2) and from minute one I was smitten.

(They really need 'blog' names so I'm open to suggestions. I'd like to 'blog' name all 3 because I think there will most likely be doing sibling visits so HELP!!!! Name away...)

Anyway, picking them up went well. It took a few minutes to get Boy 2 into the car but Boy 3 came willingly with no tears. Getting them home and settled into a house that had NOTHING ready for them...another story. Even though I have BINS of clothes from Felix there is almost NOTHING that I can use for these boys. Guess who's going shopping!!!!!! :) After a family dinner and a bath...they went down for the night. There was a few tears but I'm sure we'll settle into a routine. Boy #2 fell asleep in my arms. :) So, (Lynee), I hope that satisfies your curiosity :) I hope you appreciate the fact that I'm losing precious minutes of sleep to update :)
Pray for these babies. I have NO CLUE what to expect but they have a bit of a rough
road ahead. More soon.... Until then...NAME AWAY!!!

How crazy is my life??? I am going to bed tonight with 2 more children than I woke up with!!! WE GOT THE CALL!!! We are in our GLORY!!! More to come soon... :) I had NO time to get things ready so it's going to be a LONG night. I have drawers to fill and baths to give. More soon... :)

(Can you just FEEL my joy???????) :)

How nice would it be to be snuggling a sweet smelling little baby right now??? Or holding the chubby hand of a sweaty little toddler while he explores the yard...
I wish I could read ahead to the end and tell you what will happen. Oh, how I wish I knew. Every day that goes by makes me trust Him a little bit more. I have asked and prayed and I guess I should just be still.

WAIT

Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried;

Quietly, patiently lovingly God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to fate,

And the Master so gently, said, "Child you must wait."

"Wait"? You say, "wait," my indignant reply,

Lord I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith, I have asked, and am claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I can relate, Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT?

I'm needing a "yes," a go-ahead sign, Or even a "no," to which I can resign.

And Lord, you promised that if we believe, We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry, I'm weary of asking, I need a reply!

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate;

As my Master replied, once again, "You must wait."

So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut

And grumbled to God, "so I'm waiting... for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,

And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign."

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun,

I could raise the dead, and cause the mountains to run.

All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be.

You would have what you want, but you would not know Me.

You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair,

You'd not learn to trust by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me,

When darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience that fullness of love,

As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.

You'd know what I give and I save... (for a start),

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked,

Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.

You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that "My grace is sufficient for thee."

Yes, your dreams for your loved ones overnight would come true,

But, oh the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you!

So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see,

That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.

And though oft' My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still, WAIT.

~Author Unknown~