Time seems to be flying by. The school year is almost over. The snow is gone (FINALLY!) and we're beginning to thaw. I've been told that since April is Child Abuse Prevention Month I should expect the phone to ring. Our 'calls' have been in December so I can't imagine our phone ringing now. Not that I would mind... With the nicer weather I'm starting to go through EVERYTHING and I have this overwhelming desire to purge. I'm deciding whether or not I should get rid of baby things. Mostly to make space and 'let go' of the desire that I have for a son. It's a crazy feeling. When Baby 'C' left us I waited about 6 months to start giving things away. Then we got the call for Felix. I didn't mind shopping for my sweet boy. I actually spared no expense and enjoyed EVERY minute. I have his things neatly packed and stored away waiting to be worn again...hopefully by the little one we can finally call ours. I'm not sure how I should be feeling. I could get the call tomorrow or next year. When do I draw the line??? How long do I wait??? I keep saying I'm not getting any younger. (I'm in my early 30's) I loved being a young mom. When do I finally say I'm done waiting and give up on the desire I've had since I was a child? I've really been struggling lately. The thoughts of discouragement that has gone through my head has kept me up at night. I don't know if I should just let it go. Daisy will eventually be gone. I'm trying desperately to prepare myself now... It won't be easy to pack up her things and send her to a forever family. I really feel it will come to that though. Psycho Chick and Bio dad haven't made enough effort to parent her (in my opinion) according to DSS standards. I have prayed for a family for her since the day she was placed in my arms. I know there's someone out there right now who's praying for a sweet baby girl to love. I don't know how I'll let her go as she's become such a joy to our family. How do other people do it? How do you hand over a piece of your heart to someone else... You can only give so much of your heart away until there's nothing left. When Baby "C' left us I didn't hear anything about him or see him for months. There was a huge sigh of relief when I finally saw him with his adoptive family. I knew letting him go was the best decision I could have ever made for him. As hard as it was... I had no choice with Felix. People ask me how I let him go... I still don't know. But he will always have a huge piece of my heart. We've been on the 'open' list since September. Not one call. What does it take?? When does this feeling go away???