Still here...one week

It's been a week since Doodle returned to us for another preventive respite.  This respite can last for 21 days at a time and bio mom is allowed up to 7 weeks a year.  Doodle's case is pretty bad.  Doddle first came to us back in January.  She came with 4 different types of formula.  The worker and I are assuming her bio mom goes from shelter to shelter and community program hopping to get formula for her.  Even though she does have W*I*C it doesn't seem like she's utilizing her checks.  Doodle's belly is messed up and she has a pretty bad case of reflux.  It's just really sad that there are so many concerns at the dr's office and the county but no one can do anything until bio mom really messes up. I've been sending her pictures and communicating via text.  I even sent her a cute video of Doodle cooing last night.  Bio mom has not requested to see her daughter.  I think it's very strange that she was so crazy about getting her back when she was placed in care but here we are 3 weeks later and she doesn't even want to see her! 
At bio mom's request I brought Doodle to her 4mo well check today.  The nurse is very familiar with the case and she was happy to see Doodle so clean.  I got an earful about Doodle's family (screw HIPP**AA) and it's just a sad situation. Doodle is baby #2 from bio mom and dad.  Her brother is 2 and living with paternal grandparents.  The nurse knows them personally and says that he is a handful. Sounds like they are older and cannot or are not willing to take Doodle too.  Doodle was prescribed a reflux med but it hasn't been filled yet.  I called bio mom multiple times while at the office hoping she could give the nurses verbal consent for immunizations...she didn't call me back until over an hour after I'd already left the office.  My heart breaks for Doodle.  She is doing well on a schedule.  She smiles and coos.  She is a drama queen but what girl isn't?  Is it wrong for me to hope bio mom disappears for a while so Doddle has a chance at life with interaction and some type of normalcy? The preventive worker is not very optimistic as she believes this case will be a revolving door.  We have a new county judge and she is completely the opposite of our old judge (the one who handled all of our other county cases and Sprout's adoption).  Please keep this little Doodle in your prayers.

Got a call...

Phone rang yesterday afternoon. It was the foster care supervisor. She wanted to know if we'd take Doodle back for another preventive respite. Of course I said yes. What I didn't realize until last night was that a few hours before the county called, Doodle's bio mom texted me to ask if I'd take her for a few days. She's only been gone for a little over 2 weeks but has changed so much. She's back to very little eye contact. Her hair is growing in more and she's a bit heavier. And I'm not sure how I feel about it but she slept from 10pm to 6am. She woke up and was so still and quiet I didn't even know she was awake... 

Doodle is back with her mom...

On Monday (2/22) Doodle had a 10:30 visit with her mom.  I took Sprout out for the hour during the visit.  We brought Doodle home, got Sprout on the bus for preschool and ran a few errands.  I got in at 2:45 and my cell rang about 3pm.  It was the worker.  Doodle's mom had court at 1:30 and the judge ordered Doodle home because her mom found housing.  I was extremely confused but the worker asked me to bring her up with her things for 3:30.  I packed a bag, grabbed her formula and got in the car.  (I did keep a few things here in case she comes back again)  I do not understand how or why but there's no room for questions.  I dropped her off with her mom and the worker.  It was extremely awkward.  I reminded mom that she had my cell if she needed anything.   On the drive home I called the preventive worker.  She said she had just heard too and was very surprised that Doodle was going home.  She told me it's a good thing that I kept some things at the house 'just in case'.  My heart breaks for the baby girl who was finally getting settled in and smiling more.  Praying for her and her mama...

P.S.-  Thinking I'd get a good night's sleep I went to bed a few minutes later than normal only to be woken up by Sprout every hour from 11:45pm until 6:30am vomiting.  It's been 2 days and he is doing better now.

A little about Doodle

Doodle has been back now for about 9 days. She is settling in well and seems more content. The first 3 days were very hard.  She screamed constantly.  I don't remember her doing this while she was here for respite.  She didn't seem to make any eye contact and actually avoided it.  I felt like she screamed if I was holding her other than to feed her a bottle.  I asked some advice from other foster parents and I was told to wear her, touch her and hold her.  I did. Now, it seems...it's the opposite.  She greets me with a smile, is cooing and very content.  Even if her belly is full she loves to be held, rocked and she loves to have me sing to her. I found out quite a bit about bio mom this time around. Doodle has a 2 year old brother who is placed with the bio fathers mother (or grandmother) no one seems to know.  Bio mom is young.  When she took off her coat at our first visit I saw the scars from her cutting on her arm.  My heart breaks for her.  Last Wednesday she saw Doodle for the first time since removal.  She cried.  They have given her twice a week visits and 2 phone call updates a week.  I took the opportunity to ask mom about Doodle and how she bathes her and if she spits up a lot for her too.  She told me she loves her bath and she bathes her everyday. (Doodle screams during the bath as if someone is stabbing her.  She cries the entire time until she is in a towel.) I also asked bio mom is reflux has been mentioned by the doctor and she said no, Doodle doesn't spit up much. She also mentioned that Doddle was missing a doctors appointment that day.  Later on I called the office to reschedule Doddle's appointment and asked what she was being seen for...REFLUX.  So obviously bio mom's track record is 0/2.  She was supposed to have court on Friday and walk across the parking lot to the visit afterward.  She never showed but called me the night before to tell me she'd be there.  If she calls tonight for an update I have a few questions for her.  Doodle is sleeping better than she was even for respite.  I'm thankful for that.  We are just transitioning into baby world again and I'm happy it's not as hard as I thought it would be.  Sprout loves watching her and playing with her toes.  He sings silly songs to her and she lights up when he's around.  This week is 2 visits and a doctors appointment.  More soon...

Doodle is back!

My cell phone rang at 5:30pm on Friday afternoon. It was the county. The worker wanted to know if we wanted Doodle back.  Um...YES! I explained that we were over an hour from home on our way to my nieces gymnastics meet and we wouldn't be home until around midnight.  I asked if my friend (who is also a foster parent) could take her until we got home.  No problem.  I picked her up around midnight from my friends house and she said that the worker dropped her off at her church with nothing but a onesie and socks on with a FULL diaper. All the clothes and the snowsuit I sent her home with just 2 weeks ago...gone.
It's been a pretty hairy 3 days.  Doodle does not like to be held and snuggled. She really only needs someone to hold the bottle while she eats then likes to be put down. I am concerned that bio mom didn't hold her much. I wore her in the Moby yesterday and I'm hoping to get her more used to the idea that being held is a good thing.   She had a good night last night and I'm thankful for that. She's eating about 4 ounces every 3 hours. The preventive worker bought 3 outfits, bottles and formula before she brought her to my friend. She's on a different type of formula than she was 2 weeks ago. I also think she has reflux.  I have yet to talk to the preventive worker to find out exactly why she came into care OR if she's staying but the worker hinted that she's considered a placement. Since today is considered a holiday we'll just have to wait until tomorrow. More soon...

She leaves tomorrow...

The preventive worker called to let me know what time she'd be picking up Doodle tomorrow morning.  I can help but be torn...  This is how foster care is supposed to work but the worker said that Doodles bio mom has major mental health concerns.  Doodle came almost a week ago...she was very dirty.  Her mom did not pack appropriately for 4 days let alone a whole week.  The average temperature where we live is around 20-30 degrees where we live. There were no socks in her bag, about 15 baby wipes and 3 different types of formula.  Doodle was very fussy for the first 2 days.  She seemed very uncomfortable.  I called the pediatrician to see which type of formula they had her on (these HIPAA laws stink but thank God for nurses who often deal with foster parents) and I was thankful that there was some of that type of formula in Doodles bag.  I also went out and bought more in case we ran out (we did). She seems to be so much more comfortable and settled.  I know that bio mom has moved 4 times since Doodles birth in November. I can't imagine the life this baby is going home to. I can only hope that we loved her enough and held her enough and sang to her enough.  I'm tired of hearing that I need to lower my expectations for these bios.  This is a BABY! Her life matters. I will write bio mom a note to let her know she can call my cell if she has any needs and I will also let the worker know that we'd be willing to have Doodle back if/when bio mom needs another respite.  Keep Doodle in your prayers <3 em="">

A few more days

Doodle has been with us since Friday.  Today is Monday. Bio mom called once (Saturday night) to check in and make sure she had everything she needs. She didn't ask how she was eating or sleeping.  She didn't tell me to kiss her or that's he loves her.  I thought it was an awkward conversation. I called the preventive worker to check on the status of the respite and she said that bio mom requested a few more days... Well, ok then. She stays :)