Little Mighty's case is going nowhere fast. I spoke to the county worker (who is the 'horse's mouth', so to speak) She is leaving to go work for CPS. I wanted to know what the bios had to do towards reunification. She said they had to take parenting classes, mental health counseling, they have to understand the diagnosis of FAILURE TO THRIVE. They have to attend substance abuse counseling and dr's appointments for Little Mighty. They have to KEEP visiting with him and stop canceling. They have averaged one visit a week since December...canceling often. They also have to keep Bailey in counseling and follow through on doctor's orders for her. The main worker, Genie, has been supervising the majority of the visits so she is experiencing all kinds of crazy. She is seeing the ups and downs of bio mom and dad. It seems that if one is stable the other is not and vice versa.
Little Mighty is THRIVING! At 15 months old he is over 21 pounds and pulling to stand. He was not even sitting up back in October when he was placed here. He is crawling on all fours instead of doing the worm across the floor. He is pre-talking and babbling. His speech is probably at a 6-7 month age and his gross motor is around 10 1/2 months. I am so proud of his progress.
His bios think that I am the block to him going home. They think that I control the reunification process. Bio mom said yesterday that it's taking too long and the county should just 'take him' because he's never coming home anyway. They want to know why they can't have visits in my home and phone calls. (Usually visits are only held in the foster home if the bios are sane (they are not) and homeless (they are not). Phone calls wouldn't work either because Little Mighty can't speak. And to be brutally honest, it's not worth the 10 minutes of my time every night. I am fed up with them complaining about his clothes and his runny nose (it's winter in NY....EVERYONE has a runny nose). He is eating, sleeping, playing, peeing, pooping, fever free and happy...why would I take him to the dr??? I wish Genie would filter a bit more of the bios opinions.
The easiest part of foster care is taking care of the kids.
February 26, 2015
February 6, 2015
Cancelled...
After ALL the complaining about ME..you'd think the bios would want to see Little Mighty as much as possible. But they cancelled AGAIN. This is the 4th visit in a row ((2/6, 2/9, 2/11 and today, 2/13). The county worker was going to supervise the visit. She planned to pick up Bailey after school and bring her and Little Mighty back to their house. Bio mom agreed to this yesterday.
Let me back track. Even though Monday and Wednesday's visits were cancelled, the agency worker was trying to work with bios to find a time that is good for everyone. She couldn't make the usual Friday visit work due to scheduling conflicts and they (the bios) were ok with not seeing their son this week. The county worker called me very upset stating that the bios HAVE TO have visits offered at THEIR convenience because she didn't want to hear in court that they say they're denied promised visits with their son. So the county worker was supposed to supervise today's visit. She just called me very upset that they bios called to cancel this morning. She thinks that the bios don't want Bailey to see Little Mighty and this is her way to control that. I guess we'll see for Monday.
Anyway, the county worker just asked if we are pre-adoptive. Um, I said yes...
(Realistically, we have to make it until October without Bailey and Winter coming into care to even entertain the thought of adopting. But it was nice of her to ask) :)
Let me back track. Even though Monday and Wednesday's visits were cancelled, the agency worker was trying to work with bios to find a time that is good for everyone. She couldn't make the usual Friday visit work due to scheduling conflicts and they (the bios) were ok with not seeing their son this week. The county worker called me very upset stating that the bios HAVE TO have visits offered at THEIR convenience because she didn't want to hear in court that they say they're denied promised visits with their son. So the county worker was supposed to supervise today's visit. She just called me very upset that they bios called to cancel this morning. She thinks that the bios don't want Bailey to see Little Mighty and this is her way to control that. I guess we'll see for Monday.
Anyway, the county worker just asked if we are pre-adoptive. Um, I said yes...
(Realistically, we have to make it until October without Bailey and Winter coming into care to even entertain the thought of adopting. But it was nice of her to ask) :)
February 2, 2015
What are they hiding?
Snow day here in NY today. Kids are home. I got a call this morning from the agency supervisor. She said that they cancelled the visit for Little Mighty today. I asked if it would be rescheduled and she said that she will not rush to reschedule it because bio mom called saying that Bailey has strep but I cant help but think she's not contagious after 24 hours and if she was sick on Friday, she should be ok to see Little Mighty. Then I'm thinking that maybe bios don't want Bailey to see Little Mighty OR that bios don't want the agency workers see BAILEY for some reason. What are they hiding? Last Friday's visit was cancelled when Bailey would have been able to see her little brother and now today, another chance to visit...is cancelled.
January 30, 2015
Cancelled
Bios cancelled the visit for today. (1/30) Bio mom called the agency supervisor and told her that Bailey and bio dad are sick. Little Mighty doesn't know any different, thank God. Monday's visit went well and Wednesday's visit was changed last minute. It went from a one hour visit/one hour therapy to adding a 2 hour dr's evaluation with the whole bio family. The bios were forced to feed Little Mighty lunch (which they complain about doing because they 'have no food and I get his WI*C'. They were also forced to check and change his diaper. Now, they cancelled today's visit. Our regular agency worker is out of the office this week so it's been a little confusing. I'm happy Little Mighty is too little to know the chaos around him. I'm happy he doesn't hear them complaining about his necessary care. He is such a happy little man.
January 26, 2015
Forgot to mention...
At the 3 hour visit on (1/14) I forgot to mention that for some reason the police showed up at bios house sometime between 11 and 12. They wanted to question bio mom. Still haven't found out exactly why but the man who transported Little Mighty back home didn't find it important enough to mention to me. I found out because I listen when people talk. Not sure why the transporter didn't tell me but I did ask the family specialist and she said that the police had some questions for bio mom regarding the original neglect charge. Not sure of anything will come from it...
January 19, 2015
Not sure what to think...January 19, 2015
This past week has been full of swings and turns...nothing out of the ordinary for foster care but nothing like I thought this case would go.
Monday, January 12- Little Mighty's bios cancelled the visit so they could go to court on the original neglect case. Visit was rescheduled.
Wednesday, January 14- The visit from Monday was rescheduled for today. From 9am to 10am. Regularly scheduled visit from 10 to 11am and O/T from 11 until 12am. He came home FILTHY. I have been to bios house twice. It was immaculate. Not sure where he got so dirty. Also, his diaper was leaking by the time he came home because no one changed him.
Friday, January 16- Visits are now in the afternoon so Bailey can visit with Little Mighty. I got a call 15 minutes before the worker was supposed to be at my house telling me that the visit was cancelled because they had a family social event to go to. I was told by the family specialist that bios were asking for more time with Little Mighty earlier in the day and they were told that if they keep up with visits and everything keeps going well, they would extend visits. Then they cancelled. Go figure.
Monday, January 19- No visit today because of the holiday. No complaints from me.
Little Mighty is pulling himself up to stand but he has no danger awareness so he lets go and falls. It is very scary to watch him fall. So far, no injuries. THANK GOD!! He said his first word on Saturday (January 17). He repeated STOP! It was cute. He is such a happy boy!
Monday, January 12- Little Mighty's bios cancelled the visit so they could go to court on the original neglect case. Visit was rescheduled.
Wednesday, January 14- The visit from Monday was rescheduled for today. From 9am to 10am. Regularly scheduled visit from 10 to 11am and O/T from 11 until 12am. He came home FILTHY. I have been to bios house twice. It was immaculate. Not sure where he got so dirty. Also, his diaper was leaking by the time he came home because no one changed him.
Friday, January 16- Visits are now in the afternoon so Bailey can visit with Little Mighty. I got a call 15 minutes before the worker was supposed to be at my house telling me that the visit was cancelled because they had a family social event to go to. I was told by the family specialist that bios were asking for more time with Little Mighty earlier in the day and they were told that if they keep up with visits and everything keeps going well, they would extend visits. Then they cancelled. Go figure.
Monday, January 19- No visit today because of the holiday. No complaints from me.
Little Mighty is pulling himself up to stand but he has no danger awareness so he lets go and falls. It is very scary to watch him fall. So far, no injuries. THANK GOD!! He said his first word on Saturday (January 17). He repeated STOP! It was cute. He is such a happy boy!
January 9, 2015
(Back posts) from December 18...
All hell broke loose on December 18th. The day AFTER my last post. I'm writing it down for my records so it'll be a day by day, play by play.
Thursday, December 18- New baby is due to be born via scheduled C-section. As I'm walking into Sprout's preschool for his holiday party my cell rings. It's the agency supervisor calling to see if we'd be willing to take Little Mighty's 9 year old sister. We don't typically foster children older than our youngest so I knew hubby's answer would be no. It was.
I called the supervisor back to let her know and she said that they'd have to move Little Mighty to be with his sisters. This new foster family would be bringing home new baby sister (blog name Winter) and older sister (blog name Bailey). I asked when Little Mighty would be moved and I was told nobody knew. Winter is born today.
Friday, December 19- Called county worker to see if she had more info on whether or not Little Mighty would be with us for Christmas. She said she could move the other girls and let him stay with us for Christmas but I told her that they should be together for the holiday. As I was driving around stressing out about Little Mighty's progress and where he'd be for Christmas and how this wasn't fair and how much foster care sucks...God whispered to my heart "Be still".
Stressed all weekend wondering if Winter tested positive and wondered if we'd be called to take her or if new foster home would bring her home. Phone never rang.
Monday, December 22- Called agency worker to see if there was any new info and she said there wasn't. Called county worker and was told that the investigation was just beginning and anything could happen. Found out that Winter did NOT test positive for drugs and she went home with bios from the hospital. No news to move Little Mighty' YET.
Tuesday, December 23rd- Sprout turns 4!! Happy Birthday big boy!
No news about Little Mighty moving. I explained to the agency worker (Genie) that since we thought we'd have Winter for Christmas we cancelled our plans to be with family. Now that we're not getting her we'd like either respite or to take Little Mighty with us. One minute she said that they'll never let me take him and the next minute she was giving me permission to bring him with us. They (bios) said yes!
Wednesday, December 24th- No news about Little Mighty moving but he had a visit with bios to celebrate Christmas Eve.
Thursday, Christmas Day...Merry Christmas!!
Friday, December 26th- No visit because we spent the day out of town with Little Mighty and our family.
Monday, December 29th- Visit as usual. Bailey is home from school for vacation.
Wednesday, December 31st- Visit
Friday, January 2nd- Regular transporter isn't available so Spanky fills in. Did Little Mighty eat? No. Please have bios feed him. When Spanky brought Little Mighty home he said they gave him 2 cookies for breakfast. Really?! A baby who is in care for Failure to Thrive and malnutrition and you let them feed him cookies as a meal?!
Monday, January 5th- Bios cancelled visit because they had to bring Bailey to a counseling appointment and Winter for a well baby visit. This is wrong not only because Bailey missed school but also because the visits have been the same since October and they scheduled an appointment during one of the three hours they can see their son.
Wednesday, Jan 7th- O/T after visit at bios house.
Thursday, Jan 8th- bios cancelled O/T because it was too cold to bring Little Mighty outside. (Little do they know he is running my errands with me and dropping off and picking up Sprout from preschool too). O/T was rescheduled at my home.
Friday, January 9th- I bring Little Mighty for a regularly scheduled visit at normal time. I called the agency worker (Genie) to come to the parking lot to get him and she informs me that the visit is later in the afternoon. She insists she told me that it was changed. Not only did she not tell me, but I wouldn't have agreed to afternoon visits because of my older children's after school activities. She kept telling me she told me and I was extremely frustrated. I called the county worker and asked when it was changed and informed her that I was never made aware of the change. She apologized and told me that from now on I'd be kept in the loop because, you know, I have the baby and that kind of info is kinda important.
So, as of now, Little Mighty is staying. The girls are NOT coming into care and if they do they will NOT be placed here which means Little Mighty will move with them. The one thing I've learned is to document everything. Phone calls, visits and anything that will make this foster care roller coaster ride a little easier for the next passenger.
Thursday, December 18- New baby is due to be born via scheduled C-section. As I'm walking into Sprout's preschool for his holiday party my cell rings. It's the agency supervisor calling to see if we'd be willing to take Little Mighty's 9 year old sister. We don't typically foster children older than our youngest so I knew hubby's answer would be no. It was.
I called the supervisor back to let her know and she said that they'd have to move Little Mighty to be with his sisters. This new foster family would be bringing home new baby sister (blog name Winter) and older sister (blog name Bailey). I asked when Little Mighty would be moved and I was told nobody knew. Winter is born today.
Friday, December 19- Called county worker to see if she had more info on whether or not Little Mighty would be with us for Christmas. She said she could move the other girls and let him stay with us for Christmas but I told her that they should be together for the holiday. As I was driving around stressing out about Little Mighty's progress and where he'd be for Christmas and how this wasn't fair and how much foster care sucks...God whispered to my heart "Be still".
Stressed all weekend wondering if Winter tested positive and wondered if we'd be called to take her or if new foster home would bring her home. Phone never rang.
Monday, December 22- Called agency worker to see if there was any new info and she said there wasn't. Called county worker and was told that the investigation was just beginning and anything could happen. Found out that Winter did NOT test positive for drugs and she went home with bios from the hospital. No news to move Little Mighty' YET.
Tuesday, December 23rd- Sprout turns 4!! Happy Birthday big boy!
No news about Little Mighty moving. I explained to the agency worker (Genie) that since we thought we'd have Winter for Christmas we cancelled our plans to be with family. Now that we're not getting her we'd like either respite or to take Little Mighty with us. One minute she said that they'll never let me take him and the next minute she was giving me permission to bring him with us. They (bios) said yes!
Wednesday, December 24th- No news about Little Mighty moving but he had a visit with bios to celebrate Christmas Eve.
Thursday, Christmas Day...Merry Christmas!!
Friday, December 26th- No visit because we spent the day out of town with Little Mighty and our family.
Monday, December 29th- Visit as usual. Bailey is home from school for vacation.
Wednesday, December 31st- Visit
Friday, January 2nd- Regular transporter isn't available so Spanky fills in. Did Little Mighty eat? No. Please have bios feed him. When Spanky brought Little Mighty home he said they gave him 2 cookies for breakfast. Really?! A baby who is in care for Failure to Thrive and malnutrition and you let them feed him cookies as a meal?!
Monday, January 5th- Bios cancelled visit because they had to bring Bailey to a counseling appointment and Winter for a well baby visit. This is wrong not only because Bailey missed school but also because the visits have been the same since October and they scheduled an appointment during one of the three hours they can see their son.
Wednesday, Jan 7th- O/T after visit at bios house.
Thursday, Jan 8th- bios cancelled O/T because it was too cold to bring Little Mighty outside. (Little do they know he is running my errands with me and dropping off and picking up Sprout from preschool too). O/T was rescheduled at my home.
Friday, January 9th- I bring Little Mighty for a regularly scheduled visit at normal time. I called the agency worker (Genie) to come to the parking lot to get him and she informs me that the visit is later in the afternoon. She insists she told me that it was changed. Not only did she not tell me, but I wouldn't have agreed to afternoon visits because of my older children's after school activities. She kept telling me she told me and I was extremely frustrated. I called the county worker and asked when it was changed and informed her that I was never made aware of the change. She apologized and told me that from now on I'd be kept in the loop because, you know, I have the baby and that kind of info is kinda important.
So, as of now, Little Mighty is staying. The girls are NOT coming into care and if they do they will NOT be placed here which means Little Mighty will move with them. The one thing I've learned is to document everything. Phone calls, visits and anything that will make this foster care roller coaster ride a little easier for the next passenger.
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