Posted some new pics on the other blog :)

During the night I was up with Sprout,  I was thinking about his future and I realized that I am not as strong as I think I am.  I have said SO MANY TIMES that I TRULY trust God and that I believe HIS will is perfect.  Well, I DO believe that.  I do.  Really.  BUT I also had to search my heart to see if I'm being indifferent.  Do I TRULY trust God or am I just saying that in case Sprout is returned home or to a family member.  When someone says they have cancer...I WANT to believe that God, in His AWESOME power, will divinely heal someone but 98% of the people that I know that have had cancer...died from it.  So I just say "I'll pray that God has HIS way in this situation!".  See what I mean?!?!?  One thing I know is that I can truly say that I know His plans are for good and not for evil.  When things don't go my way I often say "It must not have been God's will".  Like when we lost Felix.  I will ALWAYS feel like he was a stolen blessing.  Not because of the bond I had with him but because out of ALL the kids we've fostered he was with us the shortest amount of time and I truly feel that someone at D*S*S lied to get him out of our home he was meant to be our son. 
I love Sprout.  I love the fact that there have been MANY things in this case to keep me believing that he is ours.  From the moment I made a call to the agency home finder {back in November 2010} to tell her my house was too quiet and she told me that it was a coincidence that I called at THAT EXACT moment because she was putting MY address into her GPS to come over and talk to me about some stuff...I knew God had HIS fingerprints ALL OVER this situation.  Looking at ALL the little details, I should rest assured that HE IS in control.  I just want to make sure my heart is in the right place.  I don't want to sit back and let this precious time pass me by.  I want to be in a place of THANKFULNESS that God HAS FULFILLED the desire of my heart and I am already holding him in my arms.  I DO NOT want the enemy to rob me of this PRECIOUS time I have with my sweet boy.  We started this journey almost 6 years ago.  We were looking for our son.  Through all the twists, turns, tears and joy I forget to remember that God HAS given us 8 little boys to love...if only temporarily.  We are truly blessed :*)

Sprout came with us on vacation :)  It was fun to play 'house' and not deal with visits and bio mom.  He did well on the plane and I am so thankful that he was able to come.  Bio mom was unsure at first if she wanted him to come but her mother surprisingly encouraged her to let us take him so he wouldn't end up with another foster family.  Prior to leaving he was projectile vomiting and I was concerned about the volume so we were in and out of the dr's office and hospital for a few days before we left.  the day before we were scheduled to fly out we were at the dr's and hospital ALL DAY.  He was checked for Pyloric Stenosis via an upper GI and ultrasound and the dr had mentioned something about keeping him home and surgery THAT DAY.  I was a bit nervous but then the radiologist said he was positive that Pyloric Stenosis was not our problem we went for some blood work.  Everything came back normal and the agency worker gave us permission to take him.  He did vomit for the first 2 nights on vacation but has not since!!! Thank God.  Sprout had lost 6 ounces in 2 days from all the vomiting.  It was a very scary thing to watch.  We're home now.  Safe and sound.  Vacation was nice but it's wonderful to be home and SLEEP in my own bed :) 

I have some news but can't post it here...so if you have access to the other blog...you'll be all caught up.

SPROUT is 2 months old!!!!

He is now...

* wearing 0-3 month and 3-6 month clothing
* wearing size 1 Pampers
* sleeping 3-4 hours at a time and NOT through the night.
* LOVES to be held and is quite LOUD when put down.
* smiles and coos :*)
* visiting with bio mom 2 days (3 hours) a week.
* still taking the pacifier
* will calm down when swaddled but doesn't need to be swaddled to sleep well. 
* eating 4-6 ounce bottles (depending on time of day)
* you 'sing' while you eat.
* you are on meds for reflux :(
* is the handsomest, blue-eyed boy I know :)
XOXOX

It's been a crazy week and it's not even over.  Was in the ER with Sprout most of Tuesday night.  He has been violently vomiting and not keeping anything down.  So after a phone call to the on-call worker (who also happens to be our agency worker) off to the ER we went.  Sprout was vomiting undigested milk AND the electrolytes.  The PA was wonderful but brought us a condition called pyloric stenosis and to be honest I was a bit freaked out.  We are already dealing with the effects of reflux but he's been on Rx meds since earlier this month.  He's been doing so much better with the reflux aside from the diaper rash he's getting from it.  But the projectile vomiting has been like nothing I've EVER seen.  We have been at the Dr's most of this week.  We are hoping it is something as easy as the stomach bug.  Bio mom requested that her visit be at 'Stuff Mart' earlier this week.  She wanted to get his pics taken.  She had him out of the car seat and touching EVERYTHING.  There's a VERY good chance he has a bug.  Anyway.  Dealing with a fussy Sprout was one thing but also having to 'babysit' bio mom at the Dr's appointments has been anything but fun!  She is a piece of work.  She does NOT filter what comes out of her mouth and she can be quite embarrassing at times.  The agency worker was out a few days this week but called immediately when he was back in the office.  He wanted to know how things went and I was sure to tell him everything!  The things that she does has me questioning how she will live with him if he goes home.  He was fussy while waiting at the hospital for an ultrasound and she was getting to frustrated with him because he was crying.  There WAS a worker there from the agency and she did explain to bio mom that he was in pain and fussy from having to fast (for the u/s).  I just hope all this comes up in court when it's time to decide permanency.  Please keep Sprout in your prayers.  He has lost weight and still not eating like he should.  We have BIG plans this week and need a healthy boy to move forward with them. 

Got a bit emotional when Sprout and I were looking out into the back yard (that has about 2.5 FEET of snow).  I was wondering if he was going to be here when the snow melted and the pool was open.  Or if he'd be here in the warmer weather to swing on the swings.  Bio mom thinks she's getting him back real soon.  Like in a few weeks.  But the agency worker assures me that it's WAAAY too early to think about reunification.  I've heard that story before... 

Can you see me?!?!? 

Wrapped

perfectly

around

his

precious

little

fingers :)