I love Sprout. I love the fact that there have been MANY things in this case to keep me believing that he is ours. From the moment I made a call to the agency home finder {back in November 2010} to tell her my house was too quiet and she told me that it was a coincidence that I called at THAT EXACT moment because she was putting MY address into her GPS to come over and talk to me about some stuff...I knew God had HIS fingerprints ALL OVER this situation. Looking at ALL the little details, I should rest assured that HE IS in control. I just want to make sure my heart is in the right place. I don't want to sit back and let this precious time pass me by. I want to be in a place of THANKFULNESS that God HAS FULFILLED the desire of my heart and I am already holding him in my arms. I DO NOT want the enemy to rob me of this PRECIOUS time I have with my sweet boy. We started this journey almost 6 years ago. We were looking for our son. Through all the twists, turns, tears and joy I forget to remember that God HAS given us 8 little boys to love...if only temporarily. We are truly blessed :*)
March 6, 2011
During the night I was up with Sprout, I was thinking about his future and I realized that I am not as strong as I think I am. I have said SO MANY TIMES that I TRULY trust God and that I believe HIS will is perfect. Well, I DO believe that. I do. Really. BUT I also had to search my heart to see if I'm being indifferent. Do I TRULY trust God or am I just saying that in case Sprout is returned home or to a family member. When someone says they have cancer...I WANT to believe that God, in His AWESOME power, will divinely heal someone but 98% of the people that I know that have had cancer...died from it. So I just say "I'll pray that God has HIS way in this situation!". See what I mean?!?!? One thing I know is that I can truly say that I know His plans are for good and not for evil. When things don't go my way I often say "It must not have been God's will". Like when we lost Felix. I will ALWAYS feel like he was a stolen blessing. Not because of the bond I had with him but because out of ALL the kids we've fostered he was with us the shortest amount of time and I truly feel that someone at D*S*S lied to get him out of our home he was meant to be our son.
I love Sprout. I love the fact that there have been MANY things in this case to keep me believing that he is ours. From the moment I made a call to the agency home finder {back in November 2010} to tell her my house was too quiet and she told me that it was a coincidence that I called at THAT EXACT moment because she was putting MY address into her GPS to come over and talk to me about some stuff...I knew God had HIS fingerprints ALL OVER this situation. Looking at ALL the little details, I should rest assured that HE IS in control. I just want to make sure my heart is in the right place. I don't want to sit back and let this precious time pass me by. I want to be in a place of THANKFULNESS that God HAS FULFILLED the desire of my heart and I am already holding him in my arms. I DO NOT want the enemy to rob me of this PRECIOUS time I have with my sweet boy. We started this journey almost 6 years ago. We were looking for our son. Through all the twists, turns, tears and joy I forget to remember that God HAS given us 8 little boys to love...if only temporarily. We are truly blessed :*)
I love Sprout. I love the fact that there have been MANY things in this case to keep me believing that he is ours. From the moment I made a call to the agency home finder {back in November 2010} to tell her my house was too quiet and she told me that it was a coincidence that I called at THAT EXACT moment because she was putting MY address into her GPS to come over and talk to me about some stuff...I knew God had HIS fingerprints ALL OVER this situation. Looking at ALL the little details, I should rest assured that HE IS in control. I just want to make sure my heart is in the right place. I don't want to sit back and let this precious time pass me by. I want to be in a place of THANKFULNESS that God HAS FULFILLED the desire of my heart and I am already holding him in my arms. I DO NOT want the enemy to rob me of this PRECIOUS time I have with my sweet boy. We started this journey almost 6 years ago. We were looking for our son. Through all the twists, turns, tears and joy I forget to remember that God HAS given us 8 little boys to love...if only temporarily. We are truly blessed :*)
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2 comments:
I love your attitude about things. You are such a positive person and truly look for the best in every situation. I love that, we were looking for our son, and God gave you 8 little boys! What a awesome thing to say. I am struggling so much right now with this, and I know you work hard to be positive, but it just such a refreshing thing to hear! God does have a plan for your family and for Sprout! And hopefully, they coincide! You are an amazing woman and truly a role model for me. So thank you!
trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding...
i am trying, TRYING TRYING TRYING to believe this every moment.
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