He gained 4 POUNDS!!!

Yes. You read that right.  Little Mighty gained 4 pounds in 9 days. His little belly is still distended and he has a bit of conjunctivitis but overall he's healthy and happy...and 4 pounds heavier!  This has given him the stability to be able to sit up unassisted.  He is now able to push up on his upper arms and get his tiny legs underneath himself in effort to begin crawling.  Look out world!! Here comes Little Mighty!

Got a call...

I can't begin to tell you how defeated I felt after we asked The Lost Boy to be placed in another home.  I questioned my ability to continue to foster and even turned down a few calls.  I was afraid that the 'grace' had lifted and our time of foster care came to a crashing end.  I couldn't even bow out gracefully.  The home finder called me for a 3 year old girl who was on the Au*tism Spectru*m. She was non-verbal.  I said no.  They called me for a sibling set of 2 found wandering the streets in the county next to us.  They were 2 and 3 years old.   They called me AGAIN for the 3 year old girl.  No placements just felt...right.  I considered cleaning out my foster care stash and moving on with life.  Sprout is almost 4 and we are out of the diapers, bottles and stroller stage.  We pretty much can go anywhere and just get up and go.  A few weeks went by and I got really comfortable just BEING a family...without foster care. 

Then the phone rang. 

It was a Friday afternoon (October 20th).  The home finder called to tell me that they were expecting a child to be placed in care on Monday morning (3 days away).  I said yes and asked her to keep me aware of what was going on but I truly did not expect her to call me back.  Monday morning she called to tell me that this little one would be discharged later that day.  He had been in the hospital since the 15th of October due to neglect and a suspicion of Failure to Thrive.  I met the case worker up at the hospital and was introduced to this tiny, little boy.  He looked right through me and my heart broke as I listened to the nurse tell me how neglected he was.  She said that in the 5 days he was in the hospital he gained 2 pounds and came alive.  With the hugs and love and FOOD from the nurses he was starting to show his personality.  This sweet boy had been left in a car in a department store parking lot while BOTH of his parents and older sister went 
in to shop.  I know it sounds insane...but that's NOT what brought him into care.  I'm still trying to understand the events that led him to us but it sounds as if the Dr was not happy with his growth.  In fact, the bio parents switched Dr's because they didn't like what the Dr had to say about this boys weight.  He has not been growing for quite a while and when the Dr sent them for blood work, they switched pediatric offices.  The Dr at the new office sent him to the hospital and admitted him.  So, he is here and doing well.  For all this little one has endured in his short 11 months on earth, his blog name will be Little Mighty.

The Lost Boy...Part THREE

Finally home with the Lost Boy.  I introduced him to Sprout in the car and told him what to expect at our home.  I told him about the dog, the pool and the toys.  I explained that we were going to have a good time.  When I looked at him in my rear view mirror he wasn't even phased.  He was just smiling out the window and babbling to himself.  The worker told me that he was probably on the Autis*m spectrum but he hadn't been evaluated or diagnosed.  When we got home, my goal was to keep him and Sprout busy until bedtime.  The Lost Boy babbled...a lot.  There were very few spoken works that first day.  We played with chalk, we rode bikes, had snacks and took a long walk.  By dinner time I thought he'd be starving.  When I served him his dinner he didn't even look at the plate.  He just got up from the table and walked away.  We finished eating and I asked him if he wanted cereal and he came back to me.  He ate about 1/2 of the marshmallows out of the box of Luck*y Charms.  Then asked for more.  Every tooth in his little mouth was rotten and broken.  I'm sure it was hard for him to chew.  I can't imagine the pain.  We sang songs and then it was bath time.  I took off his pull-up and sat him on the potty.  He made this awful noise and cried the whole time he sat there.  I was very patient and wiped his tears away as I explained that he's a big boy and he could do it. He thrashed and screamed but finally pe*ed.  I had the water already in the tub and coaxed him in.  He resisted at first but after a while, he didn't want to get out.  I need to mention that the worker said he was very impacted.  He hadn't gone to the bathroom in days.  There were stains in his pull*up.  Things were going so well that I wondered why someone thought he was a difficult child.  I anticipated some issues with bedtime.  I got him in his pj's and we went back downstairs for some TV time.  About 30 minutes later it was WELLLL after the 8pm bedtime the worker told me about.  (It was closer to 11:30) We read 3 books (just him and I) and I hugged him and kissed his neck, sang him a song and put him in the crib.  I put the turtle dream*lite on with the music and blue stars on the ceiling.  He settles down quickly but babbled a bit.  I sat at the top of the stairs with the door open until I though he was asleep.  30 minutes later I was cleaning up dinner dishes and the living room.  My husband took care of Sprout and got him settled in for the night.  I set up the video monitor and went to bed.  I didn't sleep well as I remembered all the things the worker said about the previous foster home.  I was on HIGH alert.  Every time I turned over (which was often) I looked at the monitor to make sure he was still in his bed.  He woke up at 6am fussing and babbling.  I got him up and brought him downstairs.  I gave him some dry cereal and a sippy cup and snuggled with him on the couch.  Hubby came down and got ready for work.  He kissed me goodbye and rubbed The Lost Boy's head.  About 10 minutes later...the screaming started and didn't stop until about noon.  I couldn't understand what the difference was from one day to the next.  It was if he looked right through me.  It made me so angry.  Who did this to him? He was 4.  One of his only understandable words was flag.  My older kids were getting angry with the screaming.  He wouldn't let me hold him and he started mimicking punching and hitting me.  I had no choice but to call the worker.  Her first words were...I was wondering when you'd call.  You lasted longer than most.  She came to pick him up less than 24 hours from the moment I met him.  My heart is sad.  There is a 4 year old in residential care tonight because his mother didn't know how to deal with her special needs child so she kept him in the house and locked him in his room.  She let him use the kitchen floor as a bathroom and fed him only 3 typed of food and tons of orange soda.  My heart is heavy even now...3 weeks later as I type this.  I wish we could have done more.  I wish he was given a chance sooner.  I wish he was taken sooner.  I have offered to be a familiar face and to visit him at the hospital as his mother has chosen not to see him or his sister since he entered care.  I was told that now is not the time.  He needs to be evaluated first.  Please pray for the Lost Boy.  Pray for healing and wholeness to his little body. Pray for wisdom for the workers.  Pray for the right family to be willing to have this boy placed with them.  Just pray. 

The Lost Boy...Part TWO

This boy had been in care only a few weeks and he'd been moved 5 times.  I can't help but feel that these foster parents were not prepared for the child that was brought to them.  How could 4 different families turn him away?  I kept praying for this Lost Boy to find a place that would accept him for who he is and love him where he was at.  My favorite agency worker called me at 4 o'clock on a Friday afternoon.  The Lost Boy was in her back seat being moved again.  She had no where to bring him.  Could I take him...just for the weekend?  There was a bed open in residential care and he would be evaluated but they were waiting on financing to come through.   Please.  Could I hold him just for the weekend?  PLEASE?!?!

I said yes.
 
I picked him up in a restaurant parking lot.  His eyes were searching and his hands reached out for mine.  He smiled and the first thing I noticed was that every tooth in the top of his mouth was rotted and broken.  Did I mention he's only 4?  He climbed up into the truck and I buckled him into his booster seat.  I told him about our house and introduced him to Sprout.  The worker transferred all his things into my truck and told me she was on call all weekend.  Call if I need ANYTHING.  We were off.

I drove down the highway praying "God, I asked you to place him somewhere that he'd get what he needs.  I asked you to give him someone that would love him despite his inability to express love back.  I prayed for this boy to be in a home where he'd hear about you and learn of how much You love him". 

I heard that still, small voice say "Look in your back seat.  I did."

The Lost Boy...Part ONE

A few weeks back my favorite case worker from the agency called me and mentioned to me that there was a sibling set that came into care.  A little boy and his sister.  She said they needed clothes because they came with almost nothing.   I told the worker I'd put the word out.  I explained that the foster mom should save her initial clothing allowance for school clothes and that I could probably get some summer things together from some friends of mine.  I put the word out on my social media page that there was a need and my friends (as always) came through.  A week went by and I handed the clothes to the worker.  She told me that the boy was 4 and his sister was 7.  She also told me that the sister wasn't a size 10/12 as previously told...she was a 14/16.  The worker went on to tell me that this is one of the most horrifying cases of neglect that they've seen.  After 4 days in care they had to separate the siblings, who have no bond, and move the boy to another home.  It seems as if their bio mom kept him in his room, naked.  They weren't allowed out of their trailer.  Bio mom doesn't read or write so she couldn't take advantage of services like W (I) C.  She fed her kids ONLY frozen pizza, orange soda, chicken nuggets and crinkle cut fries.  While the girl (7) seems a bit self absorbed she is almost age appropriate.  The boy, on the other hand, was extremely delayed...functioning at the level of a 1.5 year old.  The current foster home was also having trouble with him and they were looking to move him...again.  Bio mom let him run around naked and urinate on the kitchen floor.  He sounded feral. From the day I found out about him, I prayed.  I prayed that God would place him in a home that could accommodate his special needs.  I prayed that he would recover from his years of abuse.  I prayed that he would find peace and comfort away from what he has always known.  A few weeks went by and I heard through the grapevine that he was moved again...twice.  It made my heart so sad.  They began talking about inpatient care and it broke me. 
Then I heard he was moved for a 5th time.

Calm, quiet, sick...

Smiley left and Spicy girl came for respite for 10 days.  Such a sweet baby girl.  My friend has been fostering her for the past 7 weeks and no one knows this but it's a pretty high profile case in this area.  Spicy girl is 9 months old and SO independent.  She is VERY tiny and LOVES to chatter.  She adjusted well to the chaos in our very busy home and definitely bonded with Sprout.  My friend came to get her on Sunday and it was sad to see her go.  I get her again next weekend for the night and we are all looking forward to having her back even if it's only for a day.  Little Train's foster mom contacted me this week to ask if I's take him for respite at the end of the month.  I told her that as long as the agency says yes, of course we'd LOVE to have him here. 

It's not easy being babyless.  I am constantly thinking I left someone upstairs or outside and it's only my imagination.  Sprout is potty trained (yeaaah) and so when I leave the house I'm always rethinking the diaper bag...do I need it or not?!
I've been cleaning and reorganizing my baby items and trying to purge the things I don't need.  I've also been sick since Spicy girl left.  So I'm kind of happy I haven't been called for another baby...not that I would say no...  :)

Smiley's gone...

Smiley left us a few days ago. He is now with paternal grandma, who has custody of him. Found out from grandma that bio mom refused drug court. That scares me only because bio mom was doing so well.  My fear is that now grandma has custody, bio mom will become complacent in working a plan and Smiley will linger with grandma.  This was not good news. I know drug court is hard and there are many requirements but there is a lot of accountability and bio mom had a fast chance at getting him back.  I know grandma loves him and he'll be ok.  I wish him the best.

No news on the heart baby.  I don't think it's happening.  I'm waiting on a friend to bring her foster baby here for a week.  Spicy Girl is 8 months old and tiny.  Just respite but I'm excited...