Ok, the story of court.

I really wanted to post the details so I can remember them ALL. 

We walked in on March 23rd fully expecting to have another 6 months of visits. After 17 months of this I have to admit...I'm tired but I've been keeping my eye on the goal.  We were told by the county that they would NOT change the permanency goal to TPR (or adoption) until bio dad was out of prison and able to start working a case plan. He has been in contact with the county worker monthy since patern!ty was established. He has asked for pictures and shown much interest so I'm not sure if the caseworker has been showing pity or what. It was no secret that there was no blood test to establish paternity. We were reminded by the county worker that their decision was to keep the goal return t0 parent.  Bio dad is in prison and was supposed to be paroled this week and the county had no intention on filing for TPR while bio dad was incarcerated.  About 2 weeks before court we received our paperwork stating that the goal was return-to-parent BUT bio dad's earliest release date was March of 2013.  I called to make sure it wasn't a misprint...it wasn't.  Bio dad was denied parole.  (Supposedly he was denied parole because he wrote a threatening letter to some guy that has been beating on bio mom and she took the letter and sent it directly to the prison).  We went to court and resigned ourselves to the fact that we would just continue on for the next 6 months and see what happened.  We thought that bio dad would be released and start working HIS case plan.  Well.  At court...

We were there for 9am but waited on an attorney.  We were called at 9:15am and went into the court room.  Bio dad DID ask to be produced from his prison 2.5 hours away and he was there.  Bio mom's attorney immediately asked for an adjournment or a recall and both we denied.  The judge reminded her attorney that we have had this date on the calendar for the last 6 months and we all were there.  It was HER son and she should have been there on time. The county presented it's case and spoke of how many visits bio mom has missed and how there are still safety concerns but their goal was still return to p@rent.  The judge briefly spoke and then asked the bio dad's lawyer what her thoughts were and she really tried to have the courtroom have pity on him because he desired to have a realtionship with his son but was incarcerated.  Then the judge told me I could speak.  I prepared a letter.  I read it. 

Sprout is 17 months old today and has been with us since birth. He is a happy, healthy little boy who thrives on consistency and love.  Sprout’s smile is contagious and the sweet, mischievous twinkle in his eyes keeps us on our toes.
He continues to meet and exceed his developmental milestones. Sprout is a smart little boy who is now communicating using a combination of words and sign language. He knows most of his animal sounds and some of the signs to go with them. He is an extremely social toddler who is very outgoing as long as he’s with someone he trusts.
Sprout loves to dance and sing and then waits for the applause of anyone watching. He is not a picky eater, and will eat anything put on his plate.
Sprout is a very busy boy who loves to be outside. Whether it’s swimming or kicking a ball we are definitely starting to see a little nature boy in the making.

Sprout has been visiting with his bio mom 3 days a week. My concerns regarding Sprout’s visits are that after 4 hours unsupervised he’s been brought back dirty, smelling of smoke and sometimes with a the same diaper I put on him hours earlier.
There have been many times that Sprout comes home from a visit using the sign for ‘food’ or ‘eat’ and then goes on to consume a full meal as if he hasn‘t eaten. 
It has been my observation that the safe, loving and supportive environment we strive to provide is not being continued while he is in his mother’s care. Sprout is used to regular meals, a consistent schedule and the family interacting with him.
I understand that the job of a foster parent is to help promote and encourage the relationship between Sprout and his parents. It has been very difficult to do this with the number of missed visits by Sprout’s mother and the fact that bio dad is incarcerated.
When visits are consistent, Sprout goes willingly with the family specialist, but when they become sporadic due to bio mom’s failure to confirm, he becomes more reluctant to go and has cried when the family specialist arrives to transport him.
I am concerned over the lack of bond between bio mom and Sprout and feel that it’s a direct reflection on the choices she’s made that have limited her visits.

Bio dad has chosen not to have visitation with his son while incarcerated. In the 17 months Sprout has been with us his father has seen him a total of two supervised hours. I respect that he doesn’t want his son regularly brought to the jail and I agree that it would be hard on Sprout to go meet with a virtual stranger in that setting.
However, my husband and I are concerned that last year bio dad made choices that extended his incarceration and now more recently his June 2012 release date has been postponed to March 2013. This is precious time he could have been building a relationship with his son. I worry that Sprout’s time in foster care will continue to be extended based on his father‘s poor choices.
This boy needs permanency!
After spending his entire life in our home Sprout is strongly bonded to our family.  He is now calling my other children by name, looking for their afternoon bus and initiating play with them. I respectfully ask that while making descions regarding Sprout’s future that you take his parents past and current actions into consideration and do everything to ensure that permanency is established soon.  Thank You.

The judge immediately asked Sprout's lawyer to speak.  She went on to explain how important it is to make these decisions with Sprout's best interest in mind.  She explained how the baby would negatively be affected by visits with his father at this time next year and how difficult it might be to transition an almost 3 year old back to a father he doesn't know...IF bio dad could get out of prison and get his act together enough to get the baby back. About this time, bio mom walked in.  I am SO glad she wasn't there to hear my letter!  I didn't want her to feel like I was bashing her but I needed the judge to hear my heart.   

I almost choked when the judge asked the county lawyer WHY termination wasn't the goal (or at LEAST concurrent planning) and the county lawyer explained about the statute regarding a bio parent's right while incarcerated.  (Just a side note...the law is VERY grey and leaves plenty of room for judge's discretion.  It is geared more towards a father who has spent time with, lived with or bonded with his son.  Not a newborn who has only known his foster parents).  The judge ordered the county to file TP*R within 90 days.   My mind kept thinking "What does this mean?!".  I could NOT wrap my mind around what the judge was saying!  After court, bio dad's mom asked if we could get together for a picnic.  I stupidly gave her my home and cell numbers.  (More on that later...)  We got outside the court and bio mom was throwing a HUGE tantrum.  I completely understand how upset she was but cursing at the case worker and the agency worker??!  My husband approached her and quietly and calmly explained that getting arrested would not be in her best interest.  She calmed down enough to ask if her right's were being terminated because she was 45 minutes late for court.  Her mother (maternal g-ma) was a wreck.  I felt so bad.  Remember, this is baby #3 that bio mom is losing.  The visit for that day was cancelled because of her attitude.  More soon...