My Sweet Baby Sprout,

                Yesterday the agency worker came to my house and told me that you're most likely going home.  The day we were approached about taking you, we were told that this was a 'pre-adoptive' placement.  I guess things have changed.  I'm not sure WHY they want to send you home but I know that they are doing everything in their power for you to be re-united with your biological mother.  This is her 3rd round with D*S*S and NOW they are choosing to work with her until you are home.  I don't believe that it's a coincidence.  I truly believe that God is working behind the scenes and it will all work out.  Right now I just know that more than ANYTHING...I need God to give me that 'peace that passes ALL understanding' because my mind is going a trillion miles a minute.  If they send you home you will be an only child.  Both of your brothers are living with other people.  I am sad that I will no longer be able to hold you close and sing to you or watch you light up when you recognize a song.  I will miss hearing you 'sing' as you drink your bottle.  There will be different smells and sounds at her house and I don't know how she'll handle your fits if she forgets your medicine {as she can barley deal with your crying at the visits}.  We brought you home, into our family, thinking that you would one day be our son...OUR little boy.  But it looks like God might have other plans.  I trust Him.  I trust that He will work things out so this whole journey will bring HIM glory.  I know that right now things looks like their IMPOSSIBLE...but God is in the miracle business.  Like that day when I called the agency home finder about when you'd be born and she said your mother had left the county and you'd be brought into care in another county with another family.  I hung up the phone and I heard that still, small voice say "I am BIGGER than a county line!"  It was only 5 days later that the SAME agency home finder called to tell me she needed to have a meeting with me about you and how it would work when we brought you home with US!!! God moved that mountain.  I know He can move this one...  I love you sweet boy.  As if you don't hear it a million times a day.  I trust that God loves you even MORE than I do.  I am scared of losing you.  But only because I don't know what the future holds.  I can only imagine what it would be like if you stayed.  If I think about you leaving there's only darkness...God WILL have His way because I'm surrendering my will to Him.  I want what HE wants...for you AND FOR me!!! These next few months will be hard not knowing but I am going to thank God for EVERYDAY that He has given me to be with you and allowed me to be your 'mom'...even if only temporarily.  He is in control...