I have tried to update this blog MANY times in the past few days and I am finally able. On Wednesday morning I got a call from the home finder at D$$. She explained that she was contacting me for a few reasons. First, we needed to be re-certified...Second, she asked if we were ready for a placement because we have 'returned' the past 2 placements and 'we can't have that'. Third, they had a newborn baby boy (born 7/1) possibly coming into care and if we were willing...he would be discharged to us. I had to start off by explaining that sending Arizona and Lil' Man on to another foster home was not just something we decided because we were bored...It is something that we prayed about and cried over. Those babies completely changed the dynamics of our home...forever. Mami and Papi were a totally different story all together. They came here at 10pm and were supposed to be considered an emergency placement. They are safe with family members. This lady (the home finder) doesn't know our family personally. she is newly working with D$$ and has yet to speak to us in person. Does she know that we have had long term placements? Baby C and Daisy were here over a year...each. Felix was SUPPOSED to be long term...we all know how that turned out. I really think that if they would have taken the time to get to know us better they would KNOW what we want and the 'type' of placement we can handle. Anyway, she went on to explain that the baby was born 6 days earlier and MAY OR MAY NOT be coming into care. (She gave me some specifics which you can find on the other blog) So, the question she really had was were we willing to go the distance with this baby SHOULD he come into care?? I explained we were away on vacation (a few hours from home) but we'd be willing to pack up and be home that night...need be. She told me she'd call back later in the day to let us know if he was coming into care or not. If so, he'd be discharged directly to us. Well I can't even BEGIN to tell you the thoughts that ran through my mind but I stopped and prayed and committed my desires for this situation to God. I know that HE knows what we can and can't handle. My husband and I were completely at peace as we went about our day waiting to hear if we'd be welcoming a new baby boy into our family. I'd be lying if I said I didn't daydream about holding him and once again praying that THIS would be the one we'd have forever. But I DID have a peace all day while I was waiting. 5 o'clock came and went and I thought that she forgot about calling us when 6:30pm rolled around and the phone rang. She explained that they WOULD NOT be bringing this baby into care. I was disappointed but at peace knowing that God is in control. As I sit here writing this I can help but think that I wish I was tired from being up with a newborn all night... :(