If there's one thing that I've learned during this entire fostering journey...it has to be to trust God more.  It's been 5 long years of waiting for the 'right one' to come into our house to complete our family.  At the time, Baby C was not the right one for us because he wasn't walking or talking at 21 months.  We were scared for his future despite hours and hours of therapies.  He is now a happy, healthy 4 year old and his adoptive parents have fostered and adopted his full bio baby sister.  With my sweet boy, Felix...bringing that baby home from the hospital was THE BEST experience of my life {next to giving birth to my own babies}.  Holding and loving him was a gift that I know was straight from God himself.  Losing him hurt.  BAD!  There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him and what 'might have been' had we had the chance to make him a forever part of our family.  I'm not sure what God had in mind when he thought I could handle giving him to his grandmother then going on to live the rest of my life without him...  But here I am.  Still.  A little piece of my heart is with that 2 year old boy... I know that God knew that Felix needed me more than I needed him.  I'm ok with that.  Then came sweet Daisy.  We had 12 months of giggles and her sweet smile. We handed her over to her adoptive family and here it is {almost} a year later and her adoption STILL is not finalized.  I know that God has a reason.  She's thriving.  We're ok.  Arizona and Lil' Man are on their way home this week to be reunited with their mother.  The purpose for them being here?  I'll never know...but deep down I know that they'll remember the singing and hugs and who knows?  Maybe they'll sing to their OWN kids one day.   Pickle has a mom who adores him and he is still young enough to not remember his time in care.  His foster mom and her family...WONDERFUL people.  But I can't help but remember her telling us when he came into care.  3am July 4th.  She said D*S*S called her twice because the first time she said no.  Our house was 'empty'.  We weren't called...once.  Later that day Arizona, Lil' Man and Owen were taken into care and I wasn't called then either.  I wasn't called until 2 days later.  God??? I know that if WE were called for Pickle he still would be going home.  And we'd be here getting ready to pack up his things and say goodbye...again.  Last week in our local paper there was a story of possible abuse and a 16 month old boy was brought into care.  Again, we weren't called.  Should I be worried?  Or should I just trust that God knows the desires of my heart and that He will fill it in HIS time and in HIS way...  It's SO easy to look at the situation and feel discouraged.  I refuse.  I am resting in knowing that when it's time...God will give us the greatest blessing we could ever imagine.  And until then... I'll wait.