Daycare dilemma...
Lil' Man has been going to daycare 2 days a week since the middle of August. In the beginning when he was dropped off he was so happy. I think he really loves being with other children his age. He has had some incidents with biting but nothing major. Back in the end of September I changed daycare establishments. Same name, different location. Only because this new one is closer to my house. It really is a luxury for me since these boys need constant supervision and I really have no break. The teacher in Lil Man's room has raised some red flags in the nurturing department. He used to be SO happy when I dropped him off (at the old location and in the beginning of his dyas at the new location) and there was always a smile on his face. Lately he's been whining and not letting me put him down. His teacher *Ann has NOT really been one to step in and help pry him off my leg. Come to think of it, he never really cried until Ann became his teacher. His original teacher *Mary, is out on maternity leave. So, a few weeks ago, I walk into the classroom, take off Lil' Man's coat and encourage him to go color with his friends. All the kids in the class were SO excited to see him but the teachers didn't even acknowledge him. The kids were all sitting around the table coloring Thanksgiving pictures. I had to sit with him and ask for a coloring page because 5 minutes after standing there NO ONE invited him over. When Ann finally gave him a page there was no more 'boy' pilgrims for him to color. There were only girls. Now seriously, he is there only 2 days a week. THE SAME 2 DAYS A WEEK, EVERY WEEK!!! Why would they not prepare enough 'girl pilgrims' for the girls and 'boy' pilgrims for the boys. I went to the director and asked her if there was a problem and she mentioned that he has had some issues with biting. She said NOTHING to reassure me that he was doing fine and barely apologized for Ann's behavior. The next time I brought him I can assure you Ann was spoken to by the director. Ann must have taken a lesson in brown nosing because she does it SO well. She must have said good morning to me 5 times and she actually took Lil' Man out of my arms. She acknowledged him and how cute he looked. (@@ <--- eye roll) Anyway, it seems that every time I go to pick him up she has something to say. "He bit someone today", "his hair is in his face", "his poop smells" {yes, she actually complained to me about the smell of his poop!}. The last time I picked him {earlier this week} they were waiting for me in the lobby with coats on {both teachers and Lil' Man} as if I were late. NOW, I understand that they have a LONG day with many little ones but I was on time to pick him up. Even though he was the last baby to leave they should have not made me feel rushed...right??? Anyway, I am supposed to pick him up by 5:30 and I was there at 5:25. AND the kicker was...he had a dirty diaper. Now, if she had not complained about the amount he poops and the way it smells, I would have blown it off. But for them to stand there waiting for me with coat in hand and him dressed to leave it kinda bothered me. It really bothered me!!! So, question is...do I leave him there when I feel he may be ostracized for things that are completely our of his control (example- foster care, length of his hair, poop) or do I find someone else to take him so I'm at peace???
7 comments:
wow. how wonderful for you *sarcasm*
i would switch places. besides the nonsense you are having to deal with, he is having issues too and who knows what goes on their when you aren't there.
just my opinion
When will Mary come back from maternity leave? Is Ann temporary? I used to work at school/daycare and yes, teachers take things personally. Yes, they dislike kids because they are irritated by them, so if sweet Emma bites, it may be a laughing matter, but if smelly Jimbo bites, its the end of the universe. Know what I mean? I think she is taking things personally, and now that you have brought her to the attention of the daycare director, you are getting counter strikes; not toward you but Lil' Man. . I don't think it will improve so I hope Mary comes back soon. The counter strikes may be temporary until you build a connection with Ann. You know how birth moms will complain that the baby's socks are too tight, the diaper is too big, the diaper bag has a stain on it. It is their way of reminding us they are competent. So maybe she is just doing the same thing. BUT..the fact that she does not greet Lil'Man, welcome him into the activity, transition him away from the door...I really question her training. That is Early Childhood 101! Sorry. I wish I could be more encouraging. Mary, come back!!!!!! =0)
Switch. At the end of the day it will be YOU who has to deal with your little guy as he begins to really internalize what's happening. Get him out of there. You've facilitated so much healing for him...keep that trend going! His quota of stupid people trying to screw up his life is full ;)
Oh, and you might want to write Mary a thank-you note. I was in the daycare field for years. So many times I really gave 110% if I knew a kiddo was having a rough time. It always was a blessing when the parents acknowledged my efforts. I loved to hear that what I was doing was making a difference for the kiddo. I'm sure Mary would love to hear how much Lil' Man misses her!
ugh, kind of leaves me with a pit in my stomach. I second the "switch" if at all possible. Who knows how unkind she is when you aren't there??
I worked in a daycare for years before I had my kids. DEFINITELY take him to a new place!! A mothers instinct is almost always right in this circumstance!
Another preschool teacher here and I agree with the others, take him back to the other place, it's about him, right. Not what is easier for you, he has enough stress with out a crappy teacher. FYI- a good early childhood educator would NOT have 1 year olds doing coloing sheets, heck I do not let my 3-5 year olds do them. They are totally inappropriate, but thats my soap box.
I would be honored to be on your blog list. It is nice to meet someone else in the trenches.
Kristi
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