Last week I received and email regarding an adoption situation. I could barely read the email through my excitement. ***Baby boy, due soon, in another state, possible drug exposure, open adoption, adoptive parents welcome at hospital...more than $32,000.00...***

After that, I stopped reading... I could not read another word. Just tears...



I am totally positive that if that situation were God's plan for our family...HE would make a way. I guess what really got to me what the fact that it wasn't an adoption*AGENCY. It was a baby 'broker'. I have screamed, cried and yelled till I could not scream, cry or yell anymore. My heart breaks knowing that the family that has that kind of money laying around will also most likely be putting this baby in day*care. (Of course, I'm TOTALLY assuming this...) I try to understand how this can possibly be legal but then I jump back to reality and realize the world we live in is so imperfect. I am trying to come to the point where I realize that HIS plans are good and perfect and HIS timing is never late. I am focusing on Lil' Man and Arizona and trying hard not to dwell on the fact that come March my arms will be empty. I could have shared this last week but I wasn't ready. I had to come to the realization that this has nothing at all to do with me. I'm just a worker who has given the BOSS an all access pass to my heart, dreams and desires. Right now he has me (trying to) focus on these that are with me for THIS time and for HIS purpose. My heart and my head are learning to work together and trust HIM alone to fulfill the desires HE has placed in my heart. Letting go is another story... How does one completely let go?