Today marks the one year mark that sweet baby Felix left us. My heart has not forgotten what it felt like to have him in my arms. Not a day has gone by that I don't think about him or his adorable smile. I truly believe that if it was meant to be...he'd still be here. When I feel like giving up on this 'walk on the beach' called foster care, I remember what it was like to have a sweet baby boy...if only for a while...and I gain the strength to go on knowing that if God sees fit to bless us with another baby boy...we'll be ready.

My sweet Felix,
You wouldn't know me if we passed on the street. You'll never remember the hours you spent in my arms or the late nights we were up snuggling in the moonlight. But I'll remember enough for the both of us. I don't even know if she'll tell you that you were anywhere but with her from the hospital. But we're here...missing you and longing for the joy you brought our family. The glimpse of 'complete' you gave us is what keeps a smile on our lips when we mention your name. Your blankets and clothes have been neatly packed away for a whole year and I'm sure, have taken on the smell of the attic. Your pictures are neatly in an album that we look through often. I don't need to look at them to remember the immense joy you brought to our home. Your face is forever engraved on my heart. Oh, how I would love one last snuggle. You forever changed us in a way that makes us want to keep on this path to help others like you and in the process...keeping our hearts ready if, perhaps, another sweet starfish will need us like you did. Forever missing you...