I am not sure why but I've made some questionable decisions this past week. I know that when I get in to this 'zone' it is hard for me to see anything but what I want to see. On Wednesday morning I had to teach the VBC preschool class. It was very hard to concentrate on what I was doing because only a few blocks away Baby C's mom was giving birth to his FULL BIO sibling...a baby girl. I wanted to desperately be there but I was not sure why. I struggled with what I should do. I asked the foster care supervisor if it was ok for me to be there and she said that she couldn't tell me either way yes or no BUT if I did step in it might make it harder for CPS to step in and get the baby out of that dangerous situation. Let me explain...baby C was a shaken baby. He was taken into care at 2 months old. He was placed into OUR arms when he was 4 months old. While he was never diagnosed with "Shaken baby syndrome" I really believe that what we dealt with for those 1st few months with him was some sort of failure to thrive. He was a late walker and late talker. There were occupational, physical and speech therapists here many times per week to help him get to where he should be. The pediatric neurologist said his condition is genetic. He left us to go to his adoptive family when he was 21 months old. I know that he is thriving now. He'll be 3 this month. His bio mom and dad have outlasted many married couples in their being together for the past (almost) 10 years. Now they have Sweet Pea. A healthy, baby girl. CPS has already been involved and it's to the point where bio dad was escorted from the hospital because he was livid that his baby girl was going to be taken. Now bio mom is there alone. Knowing her baby girl is not going home with her. I'm caught between relief that Sweet Pea is safe and sadness for bio mom that she has never been given the chance to mother a child. She is simple. I'm not sure how much of a difference it would make if someone were to teach them HOW to be parents. I don't know if they have the capacity to understand how truly important it is for Sweet Pea to have a safe, stable, loving home. I know that baby C's adoptive home can give her that. She will be going home with them. I'm glad that Sweet Pea will have her big brother to grow up with. But my hearts will weeps for bio mom who had to carry Sweet Pea for 9 long months only to have her taken away. So sad...