As always...it all starts with a phone call...



The day was going great until the phone rang. I am still trying to process the information I was given.



I used to consider myself super organized. Things that needed to get done were completed early and I felt in control. I'm not sure when things changed. I guess I have realized that some things were more important than others. The dust will be there tomorrow if I don't get to it today. There will always be more laundry. I will have to clean the bathroom in 2 days anyway...

I have tried to embrace every minute with Felix. I have held him in my heart LONG before he was placed in my arms. I am at a loss for words at the thought of him being taken from us. When my daughter called him "little brother" I held back the tears but hoped that someday this might come true. I know that God is bigger than my fears and that HE has Felix in the palm of His hand...right where he wants him. I know that I am just a part of a plan for this little boy. Reality is SO different from what I thought would happen. I still look at Felix in awe. As if God is trying to show me that HE can go above and beyond and provide even MORE than I could ever imagine. Who would have EVER thought that WE (a couple with 4 children) would get a call for a preemie right out of the hospital. They usually give babies to families with older or no (fewer) children. I have said earlier that if I shared some posts from my private blog you would have thought that my prayers were specifically answered from the circumstance right down to the color of his eyes. It actually blew me away to the point that I am still amazed every time I look at him and realize what I asked for. I have to keep reminding myself that I signed up for this roller coaster.



Praying that circumstances will change now

but knowing that it's out of my hands...