It's been 3 weeks today that I buckled him in his car seat and kissed him goodbye. I haven't heard anything. My heart breaks thinking he might be waiting to come 'home' to me. I wonder if he has taken his first steps or finally uttered his first word. I wonder if they're leaving him in his 'crib' all day...like they used to. I wonder if they're feeding him.
We have returned to baseline as a family. We even got away for a few days and enjoyed each others company outside the monotony of every day life. Many times throughout these past few weeks I've thought I left him strapped in his car seat in the car or in the shopping cart at the store. These are things that no one tells you can happen when you 'lose' a child. I keep thinking I hear him crying in his crib then I remember...he's not here. I think that this part of foster care has it's down side. Trying to integrate back into everyday life without the baby you've been caring for every day for the past 9 months. There are many tricks your mind can play on you.
Sprout keeps asking about Little Mighty. I gently remind him that Little Mighty is home with his mommy and daddy and together we pray for the next him and the next little one who will come into our lives. This journey is hard but I know it's worth it. These kids are worth it.
1 comment:
😞. I wish it was mandatory for bios to update Foster parents after reunification.
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