I held my sweet boy last night and I truly felt the weight of him in my arms.  What is at stake here?  For me to be able to keep my boy his mother has to lose...again.  This will be her 3rd loss.  I'm sure that in a way, beyond her capability of understanding, she knows what's going on.  She knows that her actions will cause her to lose her son.  And I'm sure, in the future, she will regret the decisions she is making.  I remember a while back how hard it was to wait for him.  To wonder what it would feel like to hold him in my arms. Or to wonder if HE would ever be real or just a dream.  I don't know if I ever took the time to really think about the loss.  But to be honest, I love him.  I love the thought of him as our son and brother.  I love the thought of watching him grow up and becoming an actual part of our family.  This boys makes me smile.  I watch him play and listening to the sounds that he makes.  He is all boy!  I have been with him every day since we brought him home from the hospital.  I've watched him grow and learn.  I've rocked him through his tears and heard his laughter ringing in my ears.  He brings us so much joy and we are blessed to be a part of his life.  Like I always say, "I don't know WHAT his future holds but I know WHO holds his future!".  As hard as it is I am learning to rest in that...