It's been 5 years since we started fostering. We have been 'empty' since January. We've done some respite here and there. I think we may be coming to the end of our journey. This has been the hardest road we EVER walked. I am so ambivalent. Not sure if I want to just have our names pulled off 'the list'. Or wait. I'm not getting any younger. My heart breaks as I think about the dreams unfulfilled. The plans I made to walk down the street holding the hand of the boy that was to be my son. I'm starting to think that they were all idealistic and unrealistic. 5 years. I've seen people foster and adopt their kids. I've seen families grow biologically...many times over. It seems to be happening for EVERYONE else. Maybe it's just not meant to be. Maybe it's time to lay this all down...for good.
Maybe it's not His will for us.
1 comment:
maybe.
maybe it isn't meant to be for you guys.
but maybe it IS.
I know that is exactly what is keeping you on that list. you are going through so much right now...you have been a wonderful mama to "other people's" kids when they needed you so much!!
i am so proud of you. this is HARD. doing what you have done is really really really hard.
are you sure it isn't time to look into a specific foster/adoption agency? not an adoption agency but a agency that does foster care AND adoption thru foster care?
i have a story to tell you that i haven't shared yet...but lets just say, when I demanded a adoptive home study be done on our home suddenly they decided to tell me about a little person that was/is totally available for adoption that we may want to adopt.
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