PART 2

***Update*** These posts are part of the story of how our journey began. Scroll down 1 post to read the beginning***

December 2005 - April 2006

When I brought Baby 'C' home our family was just IN LOVE. I think I was a bit in awe of how fast it all went. Here I was with this BOY after all the weeks of waiting. It was surreal. It only took a few days to get into a routine with him. I also started noticing little things that didn't sit right with me. He hardly moved his right arm and made NO eye contact. I discussed these things with his pediatrician and I was told to just wait and see how he settled in. I held him as often as possible to promote bonding. I wore him in the B*JORN carrier until I ached. A few weeks later I called the pediatrician again and wanted to know what steps I could take to have him evaluated. I was told I had to go through the county we fostered through. I was extremely apprehensive as I set up the appointment. Here I am, finally with my dream fulfilled, and I'm 'looking' for something wrong. I was nervous to see what D*S*S would say. The EI (Early Intervent*ion) evaluation went well but I was told that at 4 months of age he didn't qualify for services. He was right on the line. Not sure how I was supposed to react to this I called the Dr again and explained what was said. At this point I was desperate for someone to validate what I was seeing with this baby. At the appointment the physician's assistant actually called EI through the county I LIVE IN and made ANOTHER evaluation appointment. This 'back up' was a God send. When Baby 'C' was evaluated a second time (about 2 weeks later) he qualified. The delays in his gross and fine motor skills were apparent but knowing that as he got older he could regress they gave him therapies (speech, occupational and physical) 3x a week. I was amazed at how God made everything fall together. Keep in mind...(I feel) that if a child has a diagnosis while in foster care...the child will be considered 'hard to place'. I have a feeling that the county in which he is placed (and had the 1st evaluation) knew this. That said, therapies were often but I felt that if they would help him get to where he needed to be, it would all pay off in the end. The frustration of not bonding...that was another thing! He had this high pitched scream that told me something was NOT right. HE was not easily soothed and even after a month of effort (on my part) to bond...he still made no eye contact. I got to the point where I thought that maybe I just didn't have the 'touch' anymore. Maybe I couldn't love another child like my own. The thought scared the #^&*$@ out of me. At that time, anyone that I spoke to about my feelings reassured me that I was right. There WAS something wrong with him.