It's been almost 6 months since Felix left us. I am thrilled that things worked out with his grandmother but I guess I'm just pouting a bit. I feel like it was such a tease. Having the privilege of bringing home this incredibly tiny baby boy from the hospital, loving on him for weeks on end without a visit from his parents only to have him gone in less than 24 hours from the 'call'. I wonder what it would have been like to have witnessed his first cereal or him sitting up for the first time. Or his first word or first step. I know that I really do put limitations on God when I say this but I can't see us with another 'call' like that. A call for a newborn baby boy from the hospital. A call for a baby who will finally be our baby boy. I struggle with wanting to just test God by ending our 'bout' with fostering in general and just waiting. Waiting for a situation that is actually brought to our front door. I thought the easiest way for MY dreams and plans to work out was through fostering. God's ways are not my ways. Obviously. I struggle with the desire to go through the bins of clothes I have for our boy or just giving them away knowing that if I see Felix's preemie clothes I'll just lose it. Maybe I'm just having a bad day. Who knows?!? I think that if things go the way they are supposed to go, Daisy will be leaving when her parental rights are terminated. That should be next fall. That's a long way off for a baby girl who needs a forever family. I can't imagine her calling us mommy and daddy then handing her off to strangers. God knows the desires of my heart and will fulfill them in HIS time. Only time will tell what will happen...