She leaves tomorrow...

The preventive worker called to let me know what time she'd be picking up Doodle tomorrow morning.  I can help but be torn...  This is how foster care is supposed to work but the worker said that Doodles bio mom has major mental health concerns.  Doodle came almost a week ago...she was very dirty.  Her mom did not pack appropriately for 4 days let alone a whole week.  The average temperature where we live is around 20-30 degrees where we live. There were no socks in her bag, about 15 baby wipes and 3 different types of formula.  Doodle was very fussy for the first 2 days.  She seemed very uncomfortable.  I called the pediatrician to see which type of formula they had her on (these HIPAA laws stink but thank God for nurses who often deal with foster parents) and I was thankful that there was some of that type of formula in Doodles bag.  I also went out and bought more in case we ran out (we did). She seems to be so much more comfortable and settled.  I know that bio mom has moved 4 times since Doodles birth in November. I can't imagine the life this baby is going home to. I can only hope that we loved her enough and held her enough and sang to her enough.  I'm tired of hearing that I need to lower my expectations for these bios.  This is a BABY! Her life matters. I will write bio mom a note to let her know she can call my cell if she has any needs and I will also let the worker know that we'd be willing to have Doodle back if/when bio mom needs another respite.  Keep Doodle in your prayers <3 em="">

A few more days

Doodle has been with us since Friday.  Today is Monday. Bio mom called once (Saturday night) to check in and make sure she had everything she needs. She didn't ask how she was eating or sleeping.  She didn't tell me to kiss her or that's he loves her.  I thought it was an awkward conversation. I called the preventive worker to check on the status of the respite and she said that bio mom requested a few more days... Well, ok then. She stays :)

Got a call...

It's preventive respite for a 2mo old baby girl...Doodle. She should only be here for the weekend maybe a bit into the week but bio is allowed to take her back at any time. 
How crazy is my life? 

New Year...2016 (baseline)

Wow.  2016.  I remember very clearly in 2005 filling out the paperwork and attending the MAPP trainings.  My SON just turned 5 last month.  I still cherish every moment with him.  He is turning into an amazing little person. I sit back and watch him sometimes and I am still in awe that he is OURS! Our year has started out very quiet.  We usually accept placements in December so this New Year has been very quiet for us.  I have been keeping busy with painting certain rooms of the house, some furniture pieces and finishing crafts that have been accumulating a layer of dust waiting for my free time.  Sprout is in afternoon pre-school so we spend our mornings together.  He has become quite the night owl because of his older siblings.  We had company (family) most of the holiday season and now we're at baseline...back to just us and our (crazy) normal.  I just got a training notice in the mail.  Now that we're back with the county I am anticipating going to the meeting to see who's fostering. Hoping I'll see some old and new faces  :)

Sprout...

It's this time of year that brings to memory how FAITHFUL God really is! It was November of 2010 when I called the agency home finder because the house was clean, too quiet and I felt it needed a baby.  She was shocked that I called her in that exact moment because she was putting my name and address into her GPS to stop by.  She sat at my kitchen table to tell me of a baby BOY that was due to be born in December and he needed a pre-adoptive foster home.  He has been ours since December of 2012 and I am so THANKful that God gave him to us.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for the opportunity to be his mommy.  Sprout turns 5 year old next month.  Time flies.  He is thriving and such a happy, healthy, fun little boy.  He loves to be outside and he is such an athlete. He is in his 2nd year of pre-school and loves to go everyday! He has a few good friends and to watch them sit and play and use their imaginations...it's just beyond anything I could have possibly dreamed. The other day he was outside raking leaves and jumping in the piles.  He was just loving life and being a kid.  In that moment I remembered all it took to get here and I am just so thankful! 

Our paper work is with the county and we are ready for another call. I am hoping for a newborn or young infant as I really want to enjoy the snuggles.  We have a few things on the calendar so I wouldn't hesitate to say no if I don't feel we can make it work.  Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I am just enjoying this autumn weather and looking forward to seeing who God brings to our home. 

Winds of change...

It's been a few weeks since Doc left and the peace has been restored to our home.  It's the little things I took for granted that I most appreciate now...washing dishes and taking a shower IN PEACE.  No fights to break up. No tantrums.  Sprout is much happier. Change is good right?!?! We have decided to go back to the county we originally fostered for.  I sent a courtesy email to the agency supervisor because she has been with us the longest. Within 30 minutes I got a phone call from her asking "what the heck??". I explained that our move had nothing to do with her personally and that I felt that my character and integrity were questioned and my feelings were hurt.  I don't think I could have gotten any more transparent with her.  I know she was a bit taken back but I hope my honesty helped her understand where I was coming from. 

So, right now we will wait for our paperwork to be requested from the county and to get everything in order over there and we start a new, but familiar journey. I recently sold most of my foster care clothes stock.  I am starting new. I was absolutely clear with the county worker on the fact that we are willing to take 2 children ages 2 or 3 and under.  I would prefer a NB and a 1 yr old or NB twins but we'll see what we get called for.  Even though we are certified for 3...I can't see that happening.  Sprout is in his last year of preschool (update soon) and I am loving every minute with him. He'll be 5 years old this Christmas and I am so thankful that God chose to fulfill the deepest desires of my heart. We are truly blessed.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't look at him and KNOW I'm holding my dream come true.  More soon...

Moved...

Due to Doc's moms allegations and the fighting between Dos and Sprout, we requested she be moved to another foster home.  She left last Friday. She is now back in a foster home with Jaden. Praying for that family and for Doc.  Doc's mom took another jab at us last week and said that because Doc complained she was hungry and didn't have dinner (during one of their nightly phone calls) bio mom called on call. Doc had been in respite for the weekend and came home to us (at 6pm) having already eaten dinner.  (I have the text from foster mom saying she fed her).  When we got home Doc only asked for ice.  She wasn't 'hungry' until her mom asked her what she ate for dinner.  Well, the agency worker called the respite mom and asked her a bunch of questions about what, how much and when she fed Doc...as if I were lying.  It really bothers me that my word is not enough.  They all know that bio mom suffers from mental illness. This agency worker has been with me for 2 years...she was Baby Love's worker and Smiley's worker. She claims that I am one of her favorite homes. I am just so sad that it had to come to this. Doc is adjusting to living with her brother again and it seems like this foster home is a better fit for her.  We are back to a quiet house with less fighting too. Part of me felt like I broke my cardinal sin of fostering....never take a child older than your youngest. 
Well, we learned.  It will never happen again.